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Archive for September, 2012


Diary of a busy woman

Is your life boring? Mine definitely isn’t. Would your life deserve more peace? Oh, yes, definitely. How do you slow down? I have no idea, I need some advise. Here comes my problem:

Monday –I travel to Poland to speak at a panel during conference. My English chairman and friend travels with me.  That makes it more interesting but also more difficult – it is his first time in a Central European country. Our rooms have beds without mattresses even though we stay at the best hotel on the spot. Lunch is served and the food is already prepared on our plates and waits for us at the table before we even sit down. Drinks are available in a jar at the entrance. We can choose either water or water with fruit syrup – finito. “What a lack of service”, my British friend had to conclude while he asked me to explain him what kind of food we had been served. “I do not know what we are eating,” was my response, ”I can only guess, but I am not sure”. It does not really matter as long as it is not alive and speaking to us, we agree and continue eating.

In the evening we have dinner. I order the food and the drinks, speaking the Slavic language, and to my total disappointment we get hard liquor (homemade schnapps) and one glass of wine instead of a bottle of white wine. To top the frustration the wine tastes like vinegar and my British friend had to toss it into a flowerpot.

Travelling back to civilization means 3,5 hours on a bumpy road and three times changing airport until finally we arrive back home.

Wednesday – a business meeting. The main BP has a birthday. I am searching through everything trying to find something that could serve as a birthday present since I have no chance to go shopping when I stop working at midnight. Finally I got the right one somewhere in the center after I successfully begged the shop owner to let me in the shop few minutes before 11 pm.

Thursday – the music concert. I went to the gym. Afterwards I ate some junk food and made the suffering in the gym completely useless. I got home and fell asleep from exhaustion. When I woke up I realized that I have only 82 minutes to do a perfect hair, make-up and fit into the dress.

Hair is ok, make-up is ok. I use false lashes and it feels like a bird sitting on my eyelids.

First impression is that it looks marvelous. Second impression is that I look like a bad version of a drag queen. So I take the scissors from the kitchen and I cut the lashes. It does not look better. I put on my shoes and realize that I will be in a pain the whole evening. My clutch bag is too small and the phone and the keys do not want to fit in. As a result my wonderful Alexander Mc Queen Clutch looks like hot dog. In the car I do last check up of my make-up and I decide to remove the lashes – too much of an extravaganza. I do not dare to throw them out of the window, so I put them into the open water bottle.

I did not have a desire for a cigarette for a long time, but now I would give a fortune for my Marlboros. I did resist, however.

I noticed that I have lipstick on my teeth. Since I had small clutch bag I had no tissue. The music was loud and I focused on how to drive, trying to decide whether to take my high heels off or keep them on.  While thinking and removing the lipstick I feel thirsty. So I took a sip from the water bottle and almost swallow my lashes.

” Confusion of goals and perfection of means seem – in my opinion – to characterize our age.”

Albert Einstein

Friday is finally here! I arrived in Vienna and I realized that I do not have keys to my own house. I am in luck, the maid was at home. I enter the house and the dog welcomes me home – jumping on my new white chiffon dress after he just ate his delicious lunch. He kisses me sweetly and my new blouse suddenly looks like it has a unique modern art pattern. It reminds me off this wonderful saying – no outfit is complete without dog hair.

Later I tasted all the cakes my house girls produced. I pronounce them all to be delicious and I go straight to bed. And here is the conclusion. Next day I woke up at 6 am and I did not know where I was. I just sat up and wondered which place it is.

I seriously asked myself if I ever have been here. This is the moment when you should reconsider your lifestyle and put into your handbag a piece of paper, which says – I belong to …..Vienna, in case you find me lost, put me in the next mailbox.