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Archive for March, 2012

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STATUS…………..SINGLE

According to the worlds biggest data research companies – the world will reach by 2025 the incredible value of 28% of its population living as a single. And this is ment like single, not having a realtionship. That means that all of economies suppliers are preparing for single portions of spaghetti, dance classes with robots, virtual visits of your friends. Isolation is the new word. People are lonely but they do not want to change anything of their fastmoving, egoistic, pragmatic way of living. Gone are the days when you wait endlessly in front of the officebuilding for your guy. You mentally quit already 3 times your relationship and you hate him, how he is bullying you around, because you do not listen. It is important for everyone to have a mirror. Better is a living mirror than a mute mirror on the wall.

I cannot immagine how this all will be, everyone will live alone, travel alone, less and less social activities will be on the list and finally from where will the children come. Maybe my grand grand children will use the service of an unknown donator and because of the jobpressure to finance this isolated life we will use surrogate mothers. Spiritually this is totally wrong. I would love to stop this all, like you pull the break in a train, and make the people laugh and cry from human contacts and all the variety of personal things that are connected to involve yourself in any kind of relationship. That we do not use the phone instead of going to see our friends. And that we have the courage to say…………………..sorry, i forgot about you and i simply did not want to do this – instead of ……………………my phone did not work and my computer did not show me your mail.

HOW I hate that, and the worst is you support these lies by saying,…………………………I understand, i will send it again…………………………………….instead of,…-go to hell with your computer, you are too lazy and I hate you…….and after 2 days you go again for a drink, this is what I call life and i AM lucky and happy that i have the luxury to have such a life, instead of pretending i am not here.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The expression FEELINGS  will be delete from our vocabulary by then. 

Some extract from Medial News

Gregory Stephenson, March 2012

The rate of marriage is down; the rate of divorce, up. The number of marriages for every 1,000 women dropped 43% between 1960 and 1996, while the rate of divorce more than doubled in the same time period, according to a report published last year by the National Marriage Project, a research and education initiative at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

And the news on cohabitation isn’t much different. In a study scheduled to appear in this summer’s Annual Review of Sociology, Pamela Smock, PhD, a researcher at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, finds that five out of six cohabiting couples end that living arrangement within three years, with only 30% of them legalizing their unions with marriage. The majority of cohabiting couples simply break up.

Retreating for Self-Protection

What gives? Some experts suggest that our longer life expectancy and society’s growing acceptance of divorce mean that many singles (or once-again singles) feel no pressure to tie the knot sooner rather than later.

But one expert has another view. Many singles are emotionally rudderless in relationships because they subconsciously retreat from truly loving and being loved, seeing the emotional risks involved as too great, says Robert Firestone, PhD, a Santa Barbara psychologist. They slip into a self-protective retreat mode for fear of getting emotionally wounded.

In his book Fear of Intimacy, published in 1999 by the American Psychological Association, Firestone theorizes that exploring true intimacy is often anathema to the self-protective mechanism people have used since childhood to guard against emotional pain. Although many people enter relationships with the best of intentions, they often have difficulty getting past these self-protective walls, he says. As a result, they fail to achieve lasting love and intimacy with their partners.

The Solutions

Firestone encourages intimacy-phobes to seek counseling and to become their own emotional trainers. By urging themselves to take risks and bare their vulnerable side, they may be able to establish a true connection with their partners. “Defenses shut out emotional experiences and cut off feeling,” Firestone says. “Move toward openness and honesty and directness and take your chances.”


Fear of intimacy, experts concede, usually can’t be overcome quickly. But for singles hoping to become part of a couple, relationship skills definitely can be honed.

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EDUCATION IS NOT TRADITION

Educated people have all the chances in the world. And those who know how to behave are king. Therfor my children had to eat with chop sticks before they could walk. Because education and speaking languages can give you more advantage than any other study or book. Good morning, good evening, nice to meet you -except Her Majesty the Quee who never says “Nice to meet you” because she says “How do you do”,( because she maybe is not glad to meet you :-)-  merry christmas, happy birthday and sorry, topped from thank you and please. Voila you are ready for the big trips to China, Inda, Africa or whereever you want to go.

Listen and be polite. This is what I learned a lot in my life, before I could not cope anymore with impolite situations alongside my businessadventure  and I forgot my education and tried to hit back unconciously, by drinking out of the bottle during a meeting, which I just realized after 10 pairs of eyes stirred at me. Dio mio – madre de dio my late grandmother was cursing in this moment on her cloud, for sure she has her own cloud as she always got the biggest part of the cake and she deserves it. Still remember her when I was a little girl and she told me to sit upright with a stick between my ellbows and body, to avoid ellbows on the table – nono

Drinking while eating – nono, it is not elegant to drink while you eat, use the napkin and put lipstick on your glass ok, i got it

Hands are never above shoulders, this is completely forbidden, you cannot touch your hair or face while you are bored to death during the meetings when the boredom is creeping up and you have nowhere to escape.

Eating during walking down the street – nono, if you do that, my grandmother and all her elegant sisters told me, you will never ever have a husband, it brings bad luck. And a husband is important, so I did not eat and drink and move, till one day I moved to Paris for 1 year, where everybody laughed at me with my very oldfashioned austrian behaviour and this dusty politness – which changed there within 24 hours and some things stayed till today.

Where do all these strange heuristika come from. Kissing under an umbrella on New Years Day brings bad luck. Laundry over the New Years day makes somebody in the family die. And believe it or not but these legends survive generations and even today I try to have no laundry over New Year. Some things have a meaning and I love to have the wisdom of the older generatios when they teach you how to use the things from nature to cure little things. And these kind of knowledge goes over generation. Use this tea and do not go beside water when there is a thunderstorm. Why does every bride have a blue thing with her when it comes to weddingday. Many generations survived and will survive if the new technology is not replacing our good old honey with onions when you have bad caugh.


Tradition is never oldfashioned, especially when you start to be the generation to be asked instead of listening, but then the rolemodel is you and you still defend the stick between your ellbows and you can eat and entire plate of pasta without drinking one drop of water. But there is someone who told you and you are someone who will tell them and on and on and on. And I hope that all the new models of familyconstellations will keep on with this old tradition to inherit the way of being and to have people offering their last piece of cake and for themselves politely refusing it  just for the purpose of being a good host and mainly for reputation.

Not like some of the new Alpha Ego Generations that try to get always the biggest part of the cake and thinking that this little victory brought them straight forward and the advantage is now on their side. Wrong, really wrong, because for thousands of years the new generation always tought that the old ones are bad and the older ones thought that the new generation will be lost in a total desaster. And simply the world stops turning because of this. All of them will survive and so will all these good advices from our grandparents do. And sometimes I am glad when I look at the pictures and I look like my mother did :-))                                                          Profile Picture

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THIS IS A MEN’S WORLD

Yesterday was womens day. I was quiet surprised and shocked when I received 4x flowers during the day. In my typical romantic and diplomatic way i thought what for please? Well because I am a woman. Number one, I could not choose and not sure if I would choose this gender and number 2 not all the flowers of the planet would not be enough to thank us for this, really. I know it is boring to repeat all the things from having babies qand working hard in the job, to keep yourself still pretty to stand competition and never forget the good mood. Some times I talk to male friends, even I doubt, this relation is seriously existing, about their relationships and to my surprise they say the “BAD MOOD” of their wives make them escape and run elsewhere. Why are women badly mooded? Many reasons, but the reason should be seen as an entire package. Women rarely complain about badly mooded husbands, because they buy this ingredient already as a part of the evolution.

Dagmar Grossmann……………………………………………………Storyland

I do  work in a mens world, and often, nearly always i am the only woman or we are in minority. Guess how it is to be a woman in a mens world. No let me suggest that a men is in a womens world. Business day as usual. Get up at 6 to walk the dog and wake up the children, that never are in time. Choose between 70 different dresses and choose the one you do not fit in, great beginning of the day :-)) the hair is horrible and you pour the earthpowder over your white not fitting dress, you choose the red, that is too short, while it is 5 minute past 8 when the meeting starts at 8. Think on a good lie on your way and exclude the boring traffic jam. And please do not look stressed otherwise the budgetdiscussion will be influenced by your emotionality, at least this is what they will say,  even the financial constructions have been made by you alone,while all the members on the meeting claim it was their work. We skip the day in our immagination and land at the evening,  when we join the male guys at the happy hour after business when the tough jokes are starting and the chairs do not allow you to climb up with your tight skirt. While you want to show that you are at same level, the first gin tonic knocks you off and your cheeks are blushing like you are 12. By 11 pm you show extrem signs of being tired so that your opponent – male- says “”your pumpkin is waiting cinderella, it is close to midnight and like always you jump off, right” Yes right, Desperado, because i have 2 hours less sleep because of make up and hair and dress and thinking and texting etc. 

While for us – women – and this blog has no genderpriority please – the male world is different. We do business everywhere, meaning in every conferenceroom and every and each etablissement. Recently I was called to a wellknown etablissement in Vienna to advise a deal, the etablissement has the name of an old city in the antique and is usually visited by men only. I know this and while waiting with the businesspartner in the main area, somebody made me an offer – which maybe honoured me but let me say the coolest sentence in my life : I do not work here, but will seriously consider it after  maintenace of my fuselage :-)))